How do you know you’re a narcissist ?

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Narcissism is broadly defined as an exaggerated, yet fragile self-concept of one’s importance and influence. Most of the work on narcissism to date has explored the negative implications of the phenomenon for individual-level functioning and leadership. However, prior research also indicates that many chief executive officers who are perceived as narcissistic lead highly successful companies.
How might this be so?
ImageOur world is progressively suffocating, now being led by undeveloped siblings, a flock oft highly pretentious corporate individuals, they are the ultimate nightmare as parents & guardians, now totally out of touch, following the unintentional conditioning away from natural psychological & environmental cognitive evolution by the insanity of endless growth & fierce corporate competition over the past 60 years as electronic technology has moved faster than the overall capacity of fellow man ability to maintain cognitive growth.Families have broken down, single & shattered families pretend to play “happy families” but the children know, kids cannot be fooled they take everything on board & learn just what they need to do to stay safe, so we conform, after all this is how we learn to speak the language of that which we are exposed, whilst absorbing all the other forms of modeled behaviour.

In like manner as a society we have been progressively led to ravenous competition, by advertising played through & feeding into the electronic media, carried into ever home & school by commercial television which thrives on leading its way up the market by indoctrinating the populous to believe in self nourishment avoidance by adorning themselves with endless quantities of “silk, gold, trinkets” magic forms of sugar & emotional numbing electronic gadgets which directly intercept the senses, poker machines, mobile phones, & Facebook &  Twitter etc.

Such homage of false idolatry to these images progressive leads to cognitive & social devolution with ever increasing degrees of psychopathic insanity as a consequence of endlessly chasing the psychological sense of ravenous inadequacy, obesity &  the dis-ease of attempted self nourishment through Insatiable compulsive occupation.

These people have been inflicted with the burden of never feeling they are sufficient, never perfect enough. Simply never enough.

They are incapable of playing the parent role. Their children become chess pieces in a high stakes game. They don’t give a damn about how their small child is responding to them as long as the parent is in complete control of them.
Some of these sociopaths discard and ignore their children, sending them off to full time nannies, boarding schools and military schools as early as possible.
They want nothing to do with children other than using them to build up their image of a great Father. In some cases these sociopaths choose a favored child that is groomed to become a part of his echo of perfection and power—this child becomes a strong source of narcissistic supply.
The sociopath has huge bragging rights about the high achieving child he has created.
Children who are not chosen for these special roles are thrown away, psychologically imprisoned, treated with extreme cruelty. If his children are not performing at the level he insists. Some sociopath parents abandon the entire family and re-constitute themselves with a new adoring spouse who has no clue about this form of psychopathology. See Australian Story A Complicated Life: Kerry Packer – Pt 2 where Kerry’s Father was seen to be cruel, abusive, bad tempered, yet Kerry thought he only got what he deserved as he struggled for his Fathers approval until his own death.
Dr Frank Yeomans a leading US expert on Narcissistic Personality Disorder pointed out that we commonly think narcissists are egotistical and stuck up, basically that they are nasty people. And it is true that narcissists can be entitled, arrogant, condescending, devaluing, often exploitative and sadistic.
So, according to Dr. Yeomans there’s more to narcissism than just being plain nasty.
There is a profound underlying problem that causes severe difficulties.
How do you know you’re a narcissist?
“If you feel empty and like you’re never good enough, and your social relationships turn sour periodically, and you can’t develop true intimacy.” answers Dr. Yeomans.

 ImageSimilarly our tender young “Duckling Selves” floating on life’s pond where we might be all ‘Chirpy & Smiling’ up top, whilst being super busy maintaining inner sense of balance with plenty happening in the waters of our body beneath the “feathers” & our protective human safety rail of psychological armour.
Sounds like a good time to seek Counselling treatment and deal with what’s underneath.

Always welcome & safe with us.

Listen,…….. Hear Neil Diamond Here….  “Be”        ( Skip the Advertising )

DANGEROUS CREEPS USING DOUBLE ENTENDRE IN ADVERTISING

 

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We wrote to the Honorable New South Wales Ministers Duncan Gay & Adrian Piccoli in hope that their influence may be persuaded  to take positive action when it comes to the continuing, unwelcome expansion of socially erosive, deliberately explicit & sexually suggestive advertising that is festering our streets, roads, high ways, railways, & state transport buses.

As a Counsellor In a recent conversation with a bus operator I was told he just ignores these ads., “That stuff is for the weak minded, who can be influenced by any advertising for alcohol, sex, or gambling, its everywhere” he scoffed in a rather dismissive manner.

However in another Counselling situation that I was called in to support a bus operator refused to drive buses depicting such advertisements & was effectively forced to resign supposedly because of the revenue gleaned from advertising.

If this type of advertising is primarily aimed at & intended for  “the for the weak minded, who can be influenced by any advertising for alcohol, sex, or gambling, the surely the state government does carry a duty of care with the responsibility to over see the weak, wounded & humble from the deliberate, insidious subliminal psychological penetration used in this mode of advertising to grab attention & arouse avoidant temptations to gamble, get sex, suck on alcohol, chocolate bars or cigarettes as a consequence of these manipulative, intellectual perpetrators within the advertising world.

To this end I offer here this photo taken of the side of STA bus 1317 carrying the advertisement for the low grade movie Vampire Academy exaggerating the words “They suck at school” which to my mind is deliberately  sexually demeaning women, children, the education system & society in general. The other side of this grab is in the multi million dollar promotion theme for this movie.
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We do not need this type of sleazy advertising parading our cities on government buses, or for that matter being peddled by the government.
We need to start some where & getting this trash off government buses is a great place to start.

There are numerous other sexually explicit demeaning advertisements exaggerating, exposing, parading women & occasionally the man lump in Budgie Smugglers, in alluring modes & expressions to surreptitiously promote, the mouthing of alcohol, ice cream, chocolate bars etc., used in like manner to carry brand names of numerous other products triggered by such sexually evocative allure.

If this order of double entendre advertising was removed from the market it will not be missed by the public & we might be able to enjoy more mentally stimulating, humorous, uplifting, educational creativity.

Carrying of non demeaning, non sexual, advertising for education, services, health, sport, events, food, etc., within reason is tolerable however we must draw a line to what is acceptable to turn the behaviour of this immature sibling society back towards adulthood.

Ministers at our age we are all well versed with the inevitability of gradualism so we would be very pleased to assist in any way possible to address this wanton under hand progressive erosion of respect & civil decency within our society.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Looking forward to other views about this advertising litter which continues to pollute our bodies, minds, souls & national spirit of respect & decency for the young developing minds of our children.

Back to our Pond now so click on the Little Ducks & see what Floats from beneath the waters of consciousness.

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Transitional Process Sibling To Adult

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Many years ago I wrote the above poem with the intention of helping young men recognise the separation that occurs between a little boy’s life sensing skills, which he denies & hides to avoid the dangerous self considered exposure of his fear, instead he seeks his safe survival by holding onto any emotional expressions which are mostly adopted from the model under which he evolves.
Monkey see Monkey do etc.
Young women in contrast are, by nature, given initiating life maturing stages through which they pass to adult enlightenment, young boys seldom move beyond the excitement of sparrows flying around their nether regions.

Such exciting sensations may also be activated with thrills of peer group conquest through drugs, any perception of winning, gambling, racing, speed, guns, rockets, & war.

In similar vein to my poem I also see Bette Middler’s song “The Rose” which tells the same beautiful awakening story in music.

Unfortunate  the Ego’s desire to control tends to take many of our young men over and we completely loose touch & feeling towards our emotions, such habitually adopted behavior happens unconsciously as such behaviour is modeled, cloned, by the environment in which we are raised, hence we develop what I have named “accents of behaviour” to avoid the discomfort of being emotionally hurt.

We effectively shut ourselves down completely, & so we live life lost, disassociated, stagnating in absolute emotional denial under the corporate control of one’s own Ego.

That is until we experience a “peak moment”  a physiological & psychological moment with “rainbow energy ” from within, an explosive moment of self realisation, of inner beauty in the moment when our being becomes flooded with previously denied Oxytocin to release the sensational experience which sets ones entire being “aglow” so to speak.

We certainly do have a very serious situation within our international culture which through the process of corporate domination has in a span of some 70 years, has deteriorated to the old rules of the jungle where 12 year old boys take guns to school and actually use them whilst escapees from war & torture are held in concentrated detention centers.

Yes in our Counselling Service at Bondi Junction this is the work we aim to share to help all men find & recover that place of self realisation.

In earlier civilised societies such progress from boy child, through adolescence, and on into adult hood formed part of our tribal initiations, unfortunately the teachers have left the class room and the whole world is being run by immature siblings who receive their lessons from TV & violent games promoted by the corporate benefactors.

Escape to self freedom is up to the individual to seek self actualisation & adult maturity.

Here we support & practice that transition.

See Counselling on this site. Appointments available 9.00 am till 9.00 pm 02 93877752.   AH 0412 777303

 

 

 

Violence is a left over from prehistoric survival.

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This link about men’s abuse of women  came bye this morning & naturally evoked the sense within me of just how much I react negatively to this near impulsive survival sense & weakness within my conditioned self which has been hyper activated by life abuse as a child. This virtual instantaneous reflex response has been unconsciously filed sorted & stored by some well intended part of my being with the belief that I must avoid experiencing any further sensations or else some part suggest I might risk my life, I think we call this feeling fear.

Any sense of threat to life triggers our Ego’s belief to this sensation. Because this experience lives within virtually all species we either fight or fly to avoid any sense of threat. Supposedly respectable, socially acceptable, people often find themselves experiencing shame filled experiences of abusive “wall punching, door kicking, window smashing, blood getting, violent behaviour”. Such uncontrolled violent behaviour is not acceptable in our society. Violence is a left over characteristic from pre-historic evolutionary survival.
It is in this weakness of response management where we all have the propensity for our Ego to resort to such aggression when we are challenged & natural fear for survival activated the defender. So Ego wants to throw rocks, spit & use bitter words or worse as a form of protection so that we do not get any more exposure to discomfort.

An absolutely primal DNA borne stimulus response, a primal reaction straight out of the cave of environmental survival, which probably explains why many men still enjoy Australia’s Funniest Home videos, Paint ball, Killer games, War, Playing soldiers, Cow boys & Indians, The Flintstones, & Rugby league.

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This aspect of my being may even explain why we always have a soft spot for the “under dog”, & thoroughly appreciate & enjoy the feeling of  assisting people find their way back into the freedom of self realisation as a Counsellor whilst also enjoy giving attention to tall poppies & call out societies ugly narcissistic psychopathic bullies.

GINA IN A RickshawWhilst I am fully aware that the above reference is to an article specifically in reference to men I do know & have worked with many couples where abusive behaviour is practiced by women who knowingly & deliberately manipulate situations, often “getting back” at their men or by seeking special favors, with “rewards” for erratic spending, or by denying access to children, secretly gambling, publically flirting & even having sexual affairs, simply because they know it will gut their man to the core. Such behaviour is driven by the Ego’s disconnection from the life & consciousness which is all that we are.

Ego is nothing more than the collective manifestation from our environmental exposure. Individual sound & accents of voice is the example we use to explain the environmental absorption by the developing child’s mind, we learn like magpies, p[arrots & cockies to talk, whistle & make the sounds & languages we hear.

Ego is not who we are.

Ego simply comes ashore when we are babies & from then on continues to invade & pollute social consciousness. Ego takes hold of those images & grows into an adult believing that what we see is all there is between right & wrong.

When consciousness & mind work together, in harmony, as One there is no barrier, no Ego domination, in this state of mindfulness we allow our spirit of life itself to mingle, sharing mutual intuitive sensitivity.

So it also is in relationship situations if & when we misunderstand each other that is exactly what it is, a mis-understanding which, when carefully considered & understood within the safety of in a non judgmental Counselling environment  both or all parties are therapeutically encouraged to look at the situation from a different perspective & so often become able to understand each others views of the glass.
To discover that the other party is not necessarily wrong , & that we are not necessarily right, we simply have different opinions that’s all that the disputes are & have been about. Simply realizing the different ways of interpreting the level of the water in the glass. The old glass half full story once again.Glass half fullSo, I sincerely believe that which would effect me might also also touch you, but not necessarily identically, as your life experience has left you with your ideas & interpretations of how & what you understand.
That is exactly why our logo says “If we change the way we look at things the things we look at can change.”LogoSmallerWe all share this magnificent propensity of One life, some people are fortunate enough to know this place, others have been misled as children & need to exercise behaviour re-adjustment to alter indoctrinated thinking processes & in so doing old conditioned beliefs often find great peace in an enlightened sense of awareness.

Just be yourself.  Don’t go trying to be yourself, that would be Ego playing a part. Besides which you are great just as you are, your real self, the person who built the body in which life resides for the time being.

We would love to hear from you if you would like to sort through any of your personal stresses or worries or simply to consider the views expressed in this article.

Contact details are back at the Pond for this PHDuck .

Womens Trust of Victoria Work Done by those Who Turn Up.

 

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Yesterday 10.11.13. we watched this live to air presentation by The Women’s Trust of Victoria

You may know by now that I actually supported Julia Gillard’s government primarily because I/we were blessed to know Tony Windsor for nearly 30 years & he remains without doubt a man of sincerity, valour, & honour one who who epitomises his strength with his catch phrase about “work being done by those who turn up”
On a personal level Tony Windsor most certainly did turn up & speak on my behalf at Enough is Enough, a  meeting organised at Barooga by local grain trading, transport operator Ray Brooks in about 1985.

A really good cover of Tony Windsor was produced & presented on ABC Australian Story
So yesterdays meeting which featured former Prime Minister Julia Gillard & Tony Windsor put much into perspective, it was a genuine, house cleaning, spring dusting, bringing a breath of fresh air in light of the dastardly shut in, curtains drawn moulder, rancid behaviour of the now elected Abbott government. Tony Windsor in supporting Julia Gillard to form a government for all Australians did so based on sound character experience & as he so rightly determined then that if “Abbott can’t lead he won’t go on the paddock.”
There also was the great you should be disgusted in yourself speech Tony made when he exposed Tony Abbott as one so desperate to “get the job” that he would do anything…..anything to get the job.
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So here we are at remembrance day 2013 paying tribute to all those who like Tony Windsor’s Father & Julia Gillard’s Father and too many thousands of other great men & women who have fallen & gone before us in love of this wonderful country.

We certainly are proud of them and sincerely thank them for “turning up to do what needed to be done” & we are proud of both Julia & Tony to borrow words from staunch supporting fellow Independent

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Rob Oakeshott, himself the Father of daughters who we hear here in his parting speech from Windsor’s “greasy pond’ of Canberra  calling for a clean out of the vile sexist demeaning abuse inflicted upon Prime Minister Julia Gillard.

Rob closing words suggested that “the fringes have invaded the centre”.

LIGHTS OUT IN QUEENSLAND

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Well Darling Peoples Good day to you.

Its really important that none of you dare go into a Queensland Pub in your Roosters Club colours or else you , the publican & the attending staff might end up in Premier Campbell Newman’s  slammer with a $11k fine.

I really do think we need to see that such legislation as this from Campbell Newman the super right wing premier of Queensland does get stopped in its tracks as in my opinion such pressure will only give rise to further aggravation of the wounded, dismissed, maltreated, neglected & abused.
CAMPBELL NEWMAN AND HIS NEW BIKIE LAWS HAVE CROSSED THE LINE AND BREACHE…

Have a really good look at the pantomime of this evil legislation delivered from behind the “Eyes Wide Shut” mask, I’m positive that Stanley Kubrick was leaving many many messages for us to see & hear so that “when we are ready willing & able we shall understand ”

When we actually listen to Russell Brandt story we see Russell is offering similar information about the destructive & dangerous manipulation of the people by megalomaniac political psychopaths & their influenced ideologically brainwashed followers.

Society in general has the capacity to tolerate such constrictive practices for a year or two but be assured that there will be a massive shift in consciousness as good honest decent people continue to “hit the wall” & are dismissed from honorable worthwhilw service as was the case for Professor Tim Flannery & many other professional academics presently being dismissed without notice, apparent reason or explanation.

When such cosmic alignment of dark forces such as Rupert Murdoch, Cardinal George Pell, Prime Minister Abbott dismisses our Minister of Science & when needed well fare grants across the Nation are withdrawn we must ask whats this all about?.
When we hear Murdoch praising a Catholic Prime Minister it certainly does sound as though Opus Dei  has succeeded in ruling the Liberal party.

Now such men as these have stepped in to stoke the fires around the “stakes” in preparation for the “burning of the supposed ” witches”, (witches it seems are any one of either gender who challenges them with alternate logical belief once again,including public xervants & Police. This verbal portrait also features the mincing “Flitter brain” Christopher Pyne,  Judas I guess might be taken up by Barnaby Joyce.

Irregardless of individual political persuasion we are able now in this light of consciousness to see & understand why Prime Minister Julia Gillard was treated with such absolute disrespect by Murdoch, Liberal politicians & the media inciting such despicable & vitriolic spurts from the gutter mouths of 2GB’s shock jocks Jones, Hadley & others.

WORK PLACE WAR ZONE

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Work place war zone.
Traumatic stress is a physiological condition brought to general public attention following the return home of soldiers from the Vietnam war in that instance it was branded as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Today we are re-branding this war zone identified  wound as Present traumatic stress. Such condition is extremely well understood within the corporate world yet they continue to replace the fallen front line soldiers with cannon fodder brought in from unemployed forces, under the pretentious enticement of financial carrots.
Now days with the advantage of experience, observation, knowledge & scientifically proven hindsight it is obvious this normal condition of physiological over load has certainly been present within society for ever, however the sheer concentration of individuals experiencing identical symptoms & degree of emotional & physiological incapacity to manage & hold stable domestic & social relationships on return from war service was exemplary. There was a break through to the cultural lies of keeping a “stiff upper lip”. The establishment simply had to take some responsibility for the care & rehabilitation of those bitterly scarred by repetitious exposure to the carnage & atrocities experienced in front line war fare.

Now highly apparent in the war zone where higher command demands soldiers to do battle & dodge the vitriolic bullets & charges of vile abuse inflicted upon them with the intention of defending the status of the represented product. Concentration of expectation to such exposure is now highly apparent on the front line of duty in customer service for every day occupations from teachers to bus operators to front line product support teams in the world biscuits & chips.

Yes these front line service people from teachers & bus operators, to call centre individuals to our former Prime Minister are being endlessly exposed to tirades of the most disgusting unacceptable abuse, in the endless drive for higher performance with increased personal tolerance & so the front line take their toll.

Mankind is everything but kind, “IT” has become utterly unconscious, impersonal, denying IT’s insatiable unsustainable egotistical lust to be king of the castle.

Modern day castles are the corporate models which have the currency of money flowing through its heartless technological nerve centre to such degree that it has lost all sense of connection to emotional sensitivity to the very conduit through which the impulses travel, just as this overload occurs within molecular structure, the conductor progressively breaks down, crystallizes, or ruptures & needs to be rewired or replaced like a blown light globe or flickering florescent tube. People treated like Old “blown globes” are “let go”, dumped to the bin & replaced.

Fortunately humans are not light globes, they are all unique individuals with varying degrees & tolerance capacity, like all bright young soldiers, however when they are exposed to extreme & repetitious voltage shocks for an extended period our & their adrenal system overloads our auto immune capacity for tolerance & dis-ease resistance & so we are seeing the increase in collapse to varying conditions of disease, which burden the medical & penal system to overload.

In the past three weeks we have attended work places to support numerous employees who have been shock, threatened  & consequently traumatised by by five supposedly “inexplicable deaths”, two suicides, 28 redundancies & or outright threats of dismissal of fellow employees.

So you will see that modern day corporate workers have joined with soldiers in an insidious “hidden cold” war zone and as this wonderful Sally Sara ABC Foreign Correspondent article proves, helpers & carers playing Simpson in the battle field of social welfare must be aware of the cumulative influence of exposure in their duty to the nefarious influence of vicarious trauma.

If you, members of your work team or family identify with these sentiments then seeking regular Professional Supervision from experienced & registered independent Supervisors is essential for self care maintenance to deal with,  release & further avoid this unconscious accumulation & dangerous health threatening tolerance of vicarious trauma to insure against overload & burnout.

For further self help information, articles, body therapy, & meditative float tank relaxation we recommend you visit this PH Duck’s Pond.

Email at: bjcounselling@massagefloat.com.au

CLEANING UP THE HEADLINES

Dear Senator Conroy & others who care,
ImageThank you many fold for your attempts to challenge the modern day Mafia of media, gambling, alcohol & their corrupting social influences.

Senators surely there must be adherence to ethical expectations within the media to self censure. We are told there is self censorship, to what degree?
We do know of, understand & despise the unbalanced bias drive by & thru the tentacles of the Murdoch octopus repeatedly plastering his poisonous ink across our society for his free market ideology as exposed at the recent Melbourne anniversary gathering of the Institute of Public Affairs, attended by Gina Rinehart, George Pell, Tony Abbott & others.

A recent headline about slitting throats in the Sydney Daily TelegraphDaily_Telegraph_29_5_2013 is nothing less than an act of incitement which I consider is probably a indictable offense within our inherent common law.

Please Senators see if there is an avenue, or if we as a Nation are able & prepared to defend our constitutional, supposed “freedom of the press” to prosecute this octopus & protect our people from the plagues of his intentions & vile splattered journalistic ink as he aims to incite divisive hatred as this evidenced, by this insidious racially bigoted article.

In so doing adding terror & racial vilification with the continuation of those contemptible headlines being played so hard by Tony Abbott’s Stop the Boats & illegal immigration, a campaign of absolute dishonesty & with that the media’s repeated derogation of the Prime Minister & your fellow cabinet colleagues.

Never in history has society been repeatedly doused with such blatant negativity to now becoming so hyper vigilant, following the accumulation of terror from 9/11, GFC, middle east & Afghanistan war, war, war, international debt reports, dishonest & distorted financial manipulation, & racial violence now with actual symbolic street assassinations fueling, with horrendous sensationalism at the hand of media fanning & promotion.
Further evidence of this social wounding is within the Eddie McGuire, Adam Goode remark activating sensitivity to a silly, unintentional, loose, (foolish for Eddie), statement. Here alone the heightened degree of social pressure is certainly evident.
We are almost back to the Commo under every bed syndrome.
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We despise Rupert Murdoch’s ideology more than we dislike Tom Waterhouse both have become so intrusive, invasive, so unwelcome, both individuals are a blight on “Our Freedom” & as you see Tony Abbott is forever ‘on his bike’ in here too.
Our cups of tolerance are overflowing, spewing out to wicked street & life threatening suburban violence to bombings, & fundamental religious murders.
Ever has been so, however such repetitive unnecessary media promotion is Murdoch’s exposed proven intention to divide & so rule.
Cut to the bone, leave no flesh. In other words let the low classes starve by living on boiled bones.

What’s more Murdoch has renounced his Australian citizenship, supposedly renounced his Australian citizen rights for a greater slice of American money & power.

Then in identical bone cutting fashion he has behaved  identically & adopted the same practice in his own private life where he has done the same thing by cutting off two Mothers of his children. Well  that is two Mothers to date.

His behaviour is that of an insatiable narcissistic psychopath driven by & entirely oblivious to the unconscious desire to gain his Fathers acceptance, much the case for Kerry & now James Packer. For these wounded ones nothing is ever enough to gratify the endless aching need after being torn from or dysfunctional infant emotional bonding.
Well like Kerry Packer supposedly said & Murdoch & the rest of us will eventually discover that “there is nothing on the other side” well nothing there for the buying or taking regardless of accumulated billions, heard it said, “there are no pockets in a shroud”.

Then again maybe Kerry would like to dispute his original call because on that occasion he didn’t stay out of the game for long enough, however considering he has been rather quiet since his last visit to the after life you might hear his challenge still, that is if any one is listening. Whilst left with an aching heart James Packer rolls on driven by the self belief that he to must complete the duties expected of him so that he never disappoints his Father, so the sins of the Father are transferred for many generations.

Rupert on the other hand might also like to enjoy some mental silence here on earth & enjoy his billions & his children & Grand children while he still has some life.

For mine the best of heaven is here with us right now on earth & being satisfied with our lot is a joyous satisfying sense of self actualization.
I’m fine just being enough as I am, thanks Rupert.

Our Counselling Service is available for all who are left nursing an aching heart regardless.

Call 93877752 or 0412 777303