This link about men’s abuse of women came bye this morning & naturally evoked the sense within me of just how much I react negatively to this near impulsive survival sense & weakness within my conditioned self which has been hyper activated by life abuse as a child. This virtual instantaneous reflex response has been unconsciously filed sorted & stored by some well intended part of my being with the belief that I must avoid experiencing any further sensations or else some part suggest I might risk my life, I think we call this feeling fear.
Any sense of threat to life triggers our Ego’s belief to this sensation. Because this experience lives within virtually all species we either fight or fly to avoid any sense of threat. Supposedly respectable, socially acceptable, people often find themselves experiencing shame filled experiences of abusive “wall punching, door kicking, window smashing, blood getting, violent behaviour”. Such uncontrolled violent behaviour is not acceptable in our society. Violence is a left over characteristic from pre-historic evolutionary survival.
It is in this weakness of response management where we all have the propensity for our Ego to resort to such aggression when we are challenged & natural fear for survival activated the defender. So Ego wants to throw rocks, spit & use bitter words or worse as a form of protection so that we do not get any more exposure to discomfort.
An absolutely primal DNA borne stimulus response, a primal reaction straight out of the cave of environmental survival, which probably explains why many men still enjoy Australia’s Funniest Home videos, Paint ball, Killer games, War, Playing soldiers, Cow boys & Indians, The Flintstones, & Rugby league.
This aspect of my being may even explain why we always have a soft spot for the “under dog”, & thoroughly appreciate & enjoy the feeling of assisting people find their way back into the freedom of self realisation as a Counsellor whilst also enjoy giving attention to tall poppies & call out societies ugly narcissistic psychopathic bullies.
Whilst I am fully aware that the above reference is to an article specifically in reference to men I do know & have worked with many couples where abusive behaviour is practiced by women who knowingly & deliberately manipulate situations, often “getting back” at their men or by seeking special favors, with “rewards” for erratic spending, or by denying access to children, secretly gambling, publically flirting & even having sexual affairs, simply because they know it will gut their man to the core. Such behaviour is driven by the Ego’s disconnection from the life & consciousness which is all that we are.
Ego is nothing more than the collective manifestation from our environmental exposure. Individual sound & accents of voice is the example we use to explain the environmental absorption by the developing child’s mind, we learn like magpies, p[arrots & cockies to talk, whistle & make the sounds & languages we hear.
Ego is not who we are.
Ego simply comes ashore when we are babies & from then on continues to invade & pollute social consciousness. Ego takes hold of those images & grows into an adult believing that what we see is all there is between right & wrong.
When consciousness & mind work together, in harmony, as One there is no barrier, no Ego domination, in this state of mindfulness we allow our spirit of life itself to mingle, sharing mutual intuitive sensitivity.
So it also is in relationship situations if & when we misunderstand each other that is exactly what it is, a mis-understanding which, when carefully considered & understood within the safety of in a non judgmental Counselling environment both or all parties are therapeutically encouraged to look at the situation from a different perspective & so often become able to understand each others views of the glass.
To discover that the other party is not necessarily wrong , & that we are not necessarily right, we simply have different opinions that’s all that the disputes are & have been about. Simply realizing the different ways of interpreting the level of the water in the glass. The old glass half full story once again.So, I sincerely believe that which would effect me might also also touch you, but not necessarily identically, as your life experience has left you with your ideas & interpretations of how & what you understand.
That is exactly why our logo says “If we change the way we look at things the things we look at can change.”We all share this magnificent propensity of One life, some people are fortunate enough to know this place, others have been misled as children & need to exercise behaviour re-adjustment to alter indoctrinated thinking processes & in so doing old conditioned beliefs often find great peace in an enlightened sense of awareness.
Just be yourself. Don’t go trying to be yourself, that would be Ego playing a part. Besides which you are great just as you are, your real self, the person who built the body in which life resides for the time being.
We would love to hear from you if you would like to sort through any of your personal stresses or worries or simply to consider the views expressed in this article.
Contact details are back at the Pond for this PHDuck .